Holiday Season?

I used to love the season. When I was a child it meant the Christmas plays at school, Midnight Mass, the decoration of the tree, and the anticipation of Santa Claus. As I got older it was the season........we knew who "Santa" was, we knew we couldn't get everything we wanted but we still were extremely happy to see what we got and to see the faces of the people we made or bought something for.

As time went by we had children and Christmas was geared towards them - their list making, Christmas Eve anticipation, and the awesome looks on their faces when they opened the presents. I enjoyed giving them gifts, I enjoyed giving everyone gifts. If I could see that smile everyday on everyone's face it would be great but Christmas......... Christmas just had that magic! The lights, the sounds, the everything.

As an adult with children I never really planned, so the last minute running out on Christmas eve for something, or overspending was not out of the ordinary. As the kids got older the less thankful they became, but the magic of "Christmas Morning" was still lingering. Of course from time to time they asked to open "one present" on Christmas Eve and I may or may not have let them open one - I really don't remember.

Going into a store, picking something out for someone which I think they would like made me smile, gave me the holiday spirit. It didn't need to cost much, I just wanted to say "I was thinking of you." I have sense gotten over that. It has taken me years but I have come to the point where I don't want my feelings hurt on Christmas day - or any day for that matter.

"Your family has it in their mind that you have to buy everything the kids want on Christmas, just buy them all sweaters, that's what I get every year." "Don't ask them what they want, they are not paying for it." "Christmas doesn't mean anything anymore, you and the kids always open your presents on Christmas eve any way." "I don't want that. You have never seen me wear anything like that." "That's ugly, I don't want want. You can take that back."  "What am I going to do with this? When is the last time you saw me read?"  "What is all this stuff? You bought this? Next time ask me before you buy something like this."

It's gone from decorating the tree with music and laughter and memories to just putting up the tree and taking it down as soon as you can. Last year there was no tree, no decorations. This year we have Misha, Jaz and Q so we have a tree which still needs to be decorated. I will probably get it over with today. Get it over with..........wow, things have changed.

Christmas has always been commercialized. If it wasn't how did we know as a child what we wanted:) But no matter what anyone says it IS the season of giving. Yes we are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and doesn't He want us to share the happiness with others?

"I am not going to any of your families house for Christmas so don't ask. I have had enough of them for the year."

"I came back to church cause I missed that laugh." "You know I will do what you ask me. Sunday at 5? Sure." "What is this supposed to be, gravy? How much water did you use? Did you use the roux in the cabinet? I can't fix it." (I never asked you to - throw it away.)

"No sue, it's the beginning of the month, I have too much work to do." "No, it's the end of the month, I have too much work to finish up." "No, I am way behind and I need this time to catch up." 


Can't I just feign sickness and stay in bed until the end of the year? I know I have done something wrong and I am sure he will point it out soon. I just want to give up............